Monday 27 February (Lendlease Darling Quarter Theatre)
Morning: humans recorded various noises from my world: dogs barking, cockerels crowing, Jackie and Bryan discussing the amount of carrots to give me… the only answer is MORE! Humans left me in my secret hiding place. They won’t let anyone see me for another few weeks.
Afternoon: Finally, my time to shine. The humans have hired a cellist to do the talking for me on stage. I quite like its soothing sounds…
Tuesday 28 February (REX Cramphorn Studio)
Morning: I was moved to a new location. Most inconvenient. Spent most of the morning rehearsing my scenes. The stage is hard to dig; prefer burrows. The puppeteer is nice.
Afternoon: ‘re-cap the day’s work’ said the Director. Not happy. Carrots didn’t come fast enough; I kicked up a stink. The humans seemed to get the message.
Wednesday 1 March (REX Cramphorn Studio)
Morning: More rehearsing. Had to re-dig my burrow after a human filled it in. I can’t work under these conditions.
Afternoon: ‘re-cap the day’s work’ said the Director. Not happy. I believe I’m being overworked and underpaid.
Thursday 2 March (REX Cramphorn Studio)
Morning: the humans have left for a production meeting. Time for some much-needed rest.
Afternoon: some washing got in my way. Knocked it off.
Friday 3 March (REX Cramphorn Studio)
Morning: more ‘puppet’ work. It’s like the puppeteer thinks I’m not real …
Afternoon: lunch – carrots and oats. Director demanded a run-through.
Saturday 4 March (REX Cramphorn Studio)
Morning: what? Back to scene 1 again? Am I being paid penalty rates today?
Sunday 5 March
FINALLY a day off. Being the star is exhausting.